My favorite season has always been the next one that is beginning. In SoCal that might not seem like a major shift, but I still feel those changes…as subtle as they might be.
Summer this year in our little house on our little street is probably best described as joy filled with a massive heap of stress and chaos. One boy who was moving out of state and towards the end, as is common (and healthy!!), he couldn’t get out the door fast enough. He literally shouted ‘love ya, ma!’ as he was driving down the street and I can tell you without a doubt that he didn’t even glance in the rear view mirror.
I cried…but it was more tears of sadness for me. It’s yet another life change that I need to adapt to…another change that is buried deep in the mothering 101 handbook that no one tells you about when you hold that sweet smelling newborn in your arms.
This kid, the one who came early and in a hurry, who was labeled as failure to thrive, the one who is probably most like me in the ways he lives life…well, it was time. He was ready…and so was I.
But I still miss him. He was born in Colorado and couldn’t wait to move ‘home’ to the ‘motherland’. The part I’m most jealous of is the that he is surrounded by friends who are more like family and I want more than anything to be hanging with them too.
Matteo, our oldest, blew in from China, dropped his bags and headed out on a road trip with his brother. I prayed they’d like each other as adults…and they do. A lot. Once home, our little house on our little street had a full table and a full garden for the whole time he was here. He’s got a great circle of people, both here and overseas, and because of that I don’t worry about him quite as much.
He signed for two more years and I have never been so thankful for technology.
That guy that I like so much is on Sabbatical this semester – though it’s a different sort of Sabbatical than ever before. He’s serving in a church and still has lots to do…and so there aren’t as many quiet days as he’d thought.
But the work he’s being led to do? Ordained. God breathed. Sacred.
But then there is October. We’ve been holding on, waiting patiently, for October. He and I are heading on a journey…a long(ish) journey. We need this time. Oh, how we need this time.
I had this plan to write more…to set aside time each day and put words down on paper. They’re all swirling around in my head but by the time supper rolls around, and the dishes are cleared and that last glass of wine is being poured…I just can’t seem to quiet enough to write. Our little house on our little street is quieter than ever before, yet, I don’t know. I’ve just been tired. The words spoken to me at work this summer consume me and it still stings. But that’s real life stuff and oh well.
But then there is October. A chance to leave work behind. A time to hold a familiar hand and see new things, explore new places, meet new people.
Needed. This trip is needed. After all, how many Autumns do we really have left?
One last quick thought. My new love…or maybe obsession? Craving?
Where have you been, in your cute little bottle and smiley label and bubbly bubbles?
This young thing…this young, now 21 year old (!!!!) just makes me smile. He has no clue how much he was prayed for, wished for, wanted. He just knows he’s here. And for our children, that’s the most important thing I would ever want them to know.
You were prayed for.
You were wanted.
You are loved.
These three? Mine. All mine.
And so we enter a new season. The married couple with grown kids phase. It’s a fun phase, I must say. We’ve poured a lot of us into this family and while it used to feel selfish to claim time for just us, it no longer does. We were young parents and now it feels right to call this time ‘ours’.
Thankful, that’s for sure. Just thankful.